Inflatable Toast
by Accoutrements
(Click here)
Product Summary
Manufacturer: AccoutrementsToys and Games Reviews of Inflatable Toast
Customer Review: Makes you feel young
Summary: 4 Stars
Sadly, it hasn't been too pleasant a last few months for your favourite writer in the universe, or better yet the whole world. You see, AFTER ONCE AGAIN BEING ROBBED, I decided rather than hire a secret assassin (his name's Karl, from Queens and he's quite good), I should just take a well deserved vacation to my Winter Residence in the Netherlands Antilles, and decided the best way to go about this would be to take a cruise aboard my luxury liner the Mr. Beaumont.
Now, the bigtime problem happened when I opted to hire a MANSERVANT to join me on my journey to do all my important tasks like iron my tear-way money suit and spit polish the obscenely expensive Hundred dollar belt (65 Canadian dollars and climbing!). But problems arose when he actually had the nerve to take offense to having to wear the standard uniform of Manservants: a cellophane vest , bow-tie and no shirt. You know the UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED apparel of ALL manservants. Afteralls, if it was good enough for Virgil, it should be good enough for this joker! Because let's face it, HE WAS NO VIRGIL. But hey, who is?
He of course didn't take too kindly to this and threw me overboard where his relatives were waiting in a rubber dinghy to kidnap me! And if that wasn't bad enough, they said some really hurtful things about my posture that did a real number on my self-esteem! It was horrible.
Eventually though, I was taken to an unknown country (Cuba? I've never heard of it. Must be new.) where I was forced to do Manual labor. And after Manual fired me, I worked for his brother Hector. Eventually though, I freed myself by digging an escape tunnel and swam my way back home to the land that I love, crossing 2 oceans in my quest (the same one twice actually).
But it was really no big deal. Swimming is like a second language to me. My biggest regret, though, was that I didn't get into any turf wars while I was in Los Angeles. I had been playing GTA San Andreas for about 4 days straight so I think I'm pretty much ready for anything "the street" could bring! Besides, knives and guns don't work on Virginians. It's a known fact.
From there's we made our way through New York, making sure not to look anyone in the eye so they wouldn't think we wanted to throw down ( I was prepared though, I had the hacky-sack balled into my fist so the beans would make my thunder-punch even more devastating.) Anyways, we hopped on a greyhound (a bus, not an actual dog...although that'd been big time AWESOME) and the worst thing that happened was someone asking me if I wanted to get stoned. To which I answered "no way Jose!" (his name was Jose, or Jim, can't remember) I said "No, one has been stoned since the time of the jesus, and that I thought that we've since done away with such a barbaric form of corporal punishment. He just laughed at me and blew a stinky smokey "O" in my face and I passed out instantly. (turns out I'm allegic to a lot of things. Smoke, half melon rinds, burlap necklaces, foreign plants, and tweed bus seats.... You know, the usual things.
Then a few days ago I got an early birthday present from my gramma (next week's my BIRTHDAY!!!!): INFLATABLE TOAST!
I LOVE THIS TOAST!!! This gets all the stars in the universe and the galaxy, too. It's times like this I'm glad I really had nothing better to do on a Saturday night and stayed in inflating toast in the middle of the night instead of having friends.
Three Thumbs up!
Description of Inflatable Toast
Toast is great, but it's hard to keep in your pocket. So what do you do when you crave the warm comfort of toast but don't want to deal with the crumbs? You pull out your Inflatable Toast, blow it up and admire its realistic toasty goodness! Each soft vinyl slice of toast is 6" (15.2 cm) tall and has a standard inflation valve.Gags & Practical Jokes Toys
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