Genuine Squirrel Underpants. 9" Waist White Cotton Jockey-Type Drawers with an Elastic Waist
by ACCOUTREMENTS
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Our Price: $4.94
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Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Category: Toy
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Product Summary
Manufacturer: ACCOUTREMENTSBrand: American Science & Surplus
Product features:
- Squirrel Briefs For squirrely lawyers? No, that would be stupid. These are genuine squirrel underpants. Nothing salacious, just your standard white cotton jockey-type drawers with an elastic waist. These are XXXXS, with a 9" waist, but for squirrels they're pretty much one-size-fits-all. (Will also fit most guinea pigs but are probably over-sized for the average gerbil.)
Toys and Games Reviews of Genuine Squirrel Underpants. 9" Waist White Cotton Jockey-Type Drawers with an Elastic Waist
Customer Review: Can we all stop with the nut jokes already?
Summary: 4 Stars
Ha Ha - yes, I am talking to all you haters out there, bagging on what is a serious product that fills a serious need in our world. Oh yeah, so funny to make nut jokes. <eye roll> It is not a big joke to real Americans like me that have pet squirrels. I thank Buddha every single day that this company saw a serious issue and stepped up to rectify an injustice!
See, I was driving back from Vegas and I needed to stop and get directions to find the highway. (I also needed to pee, but that is a different story for my review of the car travel urinal product.) There was this very nice lady sitting out in front of her house, with cages of squirrels. She was very helpful in directing me to the highway, and offered to sell me one of her squirrels. Being the animal lover that I am, and a sucker for piercing black eyes, I immediately accepted. That is how Giovanni entered my life. The rest of the roadtrip was just pure magic, he and I laughed and talked and sang songs about hiding in Christmas trees and terrorizing talking dogs. He's my BFF now.
However, when we got home, I noticed some disturbing things:
1. Squirrels have a difficult time, um, wiping properly, and he left all kind of skid marks all over my new car seats.
2. Along with the skid marks, there were several wet spots as well, that frankly, I didn't want to discuss.
3. I was a little disturbed when, while singing "Acorns all over your face, tell me how does it taste...", he began swinging from the rearview mirror and, well, the package he was delivering was, um, larger and more in-your-face, than I was expecting.
4. He hates going commando in the jeans that I got him. I did manage to find him a squirrel jock strap for his kilt, but he says the jock wears funny with jeans. (since I am more of a Thong/Tube-top kinda guy, I am going to take his word for it)
On top of all of this, some of our guests were frankly uncomfortable seeing all of him when they came over. And there were serious accidents too...like the time he was sitting in the rocker on the porch, having his morning bagel, and his, um, boys got stuck in the slats on the seat. It was a nightmare and we had to call the fire department - on the plus side, one of the firemen did ask him out for drinks after, but I digress.
This product was a god-send. Not only does he look sexy in them - though I agree with the other reviewer, boxers would be nice, especially some red satin ones - they keep my furniture skid-mark free and now he can swing from the mirror without SWINGING from the mirror, if you know what I mean.
The only reason I gave them four stars is because the only colors are white or pink, and seriously, what guy squirrel is going to be caught in pink?? Black would be better, so he could wear them for multiple days without the poo stains being so obvious. Also, options like boxer briefs, boxers, and thong style might appeal to a wider consumer base.
Now, we just need to get him a speedo for summer time. He loves to float on his back in the pool, and honestly I just don't need to see him like that anymore. It is beginning to affect my sobriety.
More Genuine Squirrel Underpants. 9" Waist White Cotton Jockey-Type Drawers with an Elastic Waist Customer Reviews:
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Description of Genuine Squirrel Underpants. 9" Waist White Cotton Jockey-Type Drawers with an Elastic Waist
Squirrel Briefs For squirrely lawyers? No, that would be stupid. These are genuine squirrel underpants. Nothing salacious, just your standard white cotton jockey-type drawers with an elastic waist. These are XXXXS, with a 9" waist, but for squirrels they're pretty much one-size-fits-all. (Will also fit most guinea pigs but are probably over-sized for the average gerbil.)Activities & Amusements Toys
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